Don’t be discouraged by the name, this smoothie is GOOD! I give full credit to my sister, Jenna, who created this recipe to satisfy her extreme kale, protein, and coffee addiction. When she use to make these smoothies, I would look at her pour the greenish-brown liquid into a cup and cringe at the idea of drinking it.
Then I tried it myself.
I have to say, she was right; it actually is good. Not only does it taste good, but it is a great source of protein, vegetables, and caffeine on the go. Normally, I’m not a big fan of drinking my meals. I would much rather eat a plate of food then drink a smoothie, but my class schedule makes it difficult to fit in a full sit-down meal some days, so this has been my lifesaver to keep me satisfied throughout the day.
Alright, so here’s the deets:
What you’ll need:
- Powerful blender
- 1 frozen banana
- 1-2 cups of brewed coffee
- 1/2 cup of frozen kale
- 1 scoop of protein powder
- A splash of Unsweetened Flaxseed Milk + Protein (or substitute your milk of choice)
- Sprinkle of unsweetened cocoa powder (or to add sweetness, use Nesquik chocolate powder)

Stick it all in the blender and blend on high until smooth.
Ways to modify:
- Instead of using a vanilla milk substitute, you can use a chocolate flavored milk to bring out the mocha flavor. My favorite non-dairy chocolate milk is Ripple brand chocolate milk.
- If you don’t like coffee or you don’t want caffeine, then you can just use water in your smoothie! It will have the same amount of calories. You can also replace the coffee with your dairy-free milk.
- Frozen kale can be replaced by frozen spinach. I find that kale adds slightly less flavor than spinach does, but they are both mild.

Vegan BioChem Protein Powder 

Ripple Pea Protein Chocolate Milk